Counselling for men

mindful men

For men who want to get better at

managing anger

Damian Stoupe counsellor

Counselling for men supports those men who want to improve themselves and their relationships. Let’s be honest some of you have arrived here because:

  • you have been given an ultimatum by their partner to sort themselves out (or else!) … or
  • a friend has told them you need to get help or
  • you’ve tried everything else and a counsellor is the last resort.

That’s alright, men are notoriously bad at asking for help; sometimes we need a nudge to be reminded that having a ‘Y’ chromosome doesn’t mean that we’re immune to getting frustrated and angry or sad, stressed or anxious, or simply feeling lost and hopeless.

However, you need to want to be here and you do need to want to change.

If you, a blend of counselling and coaching, that looks forward to where you want to be, rather than focusing on the past, which helps you develop, emotionally, intellectually, personally and professionally. Give me a call.

Have a look around the site and then give me a call, drop me a line or book a free 30-minute session — if you want to have a chat about how counselling and coaching could help you.

person standing near brown welcome on board printed floor map
Photo by Mabel Amber on Pexels.com

Situations where counselling for men can help:

  • your confidence has been dented,
  • you are struggling with anxiety, stress or depression
  • finding the demands of work are becoming excessive
  • you’re finding that the only way to escape is found I’m the bottom of a bottle, drugs or junk food
  • you’re Unhappy and dealing with low self-esteem?
  • Uo are t a crossroad in your life and not sure where to go from here?
  • you might be truggling with a significant loss?

Getting mentally fit and healthy

When you join a gym, you’re shown around by a personal trainer who checks your fitness levels, your technique and discusses your goals are and sets up a training programme.

Counsellors working with men should do something similar. Through this site and in our conversations I will explain what we are doing and why, introduce you to the counselling process, understand what skills you have that can be tweaked, identify new skills that might be useful.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what’s wrong, often new clients only know that something is wrong, we can begin by exploring what we is going on inside us (feelings and emotions) or what is going on outside (situations and contexts).

man in black t shirt and black shorts standing on brown wooden floor
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Men are notoriously bad at talking about feelings/emotions (see here to find out more). It’s not that we don’t have any feelings (although many arguments have started with this accusation!) it is just that we find it difficult to talk about them. Emotions are important, they tell us when something isn’t right. We, men, need to learn the language of emotions to help us become mentally fit and healthy. For example, emotions such as:

  • amusement
  • anger
  • awe
  • contempt
  • disgust
  • distress
  • embarssment
  • fear
  • guilt
  • happiness
  • interest
  • jealousy
  • joy
  • love
  • pride
  • sadness
  • shame
  • shyness
  • suprise
  • sympathy

While some men come to address emotional issues, others begin their counselling journey because of the particular circumstances they find themselves in, for instance::

  • addictions
  • bereavement
  • changing roles in the family
  • commitment issues
  • dismissal/redundancy
  • seperation/divorce
  • injuries
  • infideltity
  • midlife crisis
  • relationship difficutlties
  • retirement
  • sexual identity
  • stress and anxiety
  • depression
  • work issue: performance issues or workplace bullying
  • relationship difficutles

Why is counselling for men important?

Counselling for men is a relatively lightly researched area of mental health provision. This lack of focus is partly because men are pretty reluctant to see a counsellor but, critically, resisting means that the figures on mental health and men are concerning – men need to get mentally fitter before they get hurt.

Suicides

3 out of 4 suicides are by men struggling with mental health issues. The biggest cause of death by men under 35 is suicide (ONS)

Living with stress

Each year nearly 200,000 men report issues with stress, depression and anxiety which is made worse at work. Men aged 45-54 seem to be at greater risk (HSE)

Becoming addicted

Men are more likely to become addicted to alcohol, drugs, porn, or throw themselves into work to escape difficult situations

Unsatisified with life

Men are more likely to be dissatisfied with life (ONS), but less likely to access psychological health on the NHS (36% of appointments are for men)

Depression and men

Men behave differently in their struggles with depression to women; behaviours tend towards irritability, anger and aggression, taking risks, and loss of control.

Missing men

Three-quarters of all missing adults are men, and 87% of those who sleep, rough are men. The majority of people imprisoned are male.

Online counselling for men

Like a good barbershop, although I work primarily with men, I do see women who appreciate the way I work. However, although I live in Wells, Somerset, I only work online/telephone.

Why do I not see clients in person anymore? Simply because::

  • current research suggests there is little difference between outcomes for clients (male or female) when we use online counselling, and
  • using technology to provide online counselling for men means that you are not seen going into the counsellor’s practice room by anyone, additionally
  • you, the client, are in control of where you see me. As a client you choose the place where you feel safe, away form prying eyes and ears!
man leaning against wall using laptop for counselling
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

online counselling: video or telephone

Talk to me wherever you want, at home, at work, sitting in the car or walking around the park.
Using Microsoft Teams you can access the session on your phone, laptop or desktop.

Secure and Confidential


Using Microsoft Teams means that all our sessions are encrypted.
*If you want to use other platforms (eg: WhatsApp, FaceTime Zoom) we can.
I will try and use the platform you feel comfortable with.

Flexible and practical


Holding sessions online means that we can meet when ad wherever it suits you.
Using Microsoft Teams means we can share information quickly and securely.
You have one place where we can share useful information.

Insights: the blog for men’s mental health

As a professional and accredited counsellor, it is important that I keep up to date with the latest research and ideas that affect how people live their lives. in my blog, I try to translate the technical jargon of academic articles into practical help, or I might explore some of the broader issues related to my PhD studies: which allows me a great breadth of subjects: counselling, history, neuroscience, psychology, politics, philosophy, and religion).